Ashleigh unfolds her thoughts about thin privilege and thin privilege within the fat community. She believes that fatness is becoming somewhat trendy which pushes larger fat-bodied individuals back into the margins. She tells stories about microaggressions she’s encountered and weight stigma as a bigger body while watching smaller fat women’s bodies and experiences become commodified and centered in more mainstream conversations. Ashleigh also identifies where Blackness enters into this mess, being appropriated and decentered online and on tv. She states that we only see one kind of fat experience being proliferated where we’re not talking about race, toxic positivity and systemic fatphobia.
To illustrate her opinions about fat exclusion in sex posi spaces, Ashleigh pulls upon her experience working in a dungeon. All of the same things that she encounters as a fat Black woman in the regular world are amplified in her sex work. Fetishization, racialized fantasies and anti-fat biases showed their asses in her work. Ashleigh discusses sex posi, feminist events that also exhibit fatphobia and white supremacy in their hosting and moderation. Ashleigh firmly illuminates that discussions about fatphobia in sex, or why fat romance and fat sex are erased are extremely important conversations that we need to have. So much of the sex that cishet men are having with fat women is informed by really badly developed porn. Ashleigh shares many stories of being mistreated sexually by men and the lack of communication around sex with men that was genuinely bad! It begs the question, how much GOOD SEX do fat women have access to because of anti-fat bias? Dare we interrogate those private circumstances where we are being told that “this is the best you can get” because of our fat bodies?
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